Silent Echoes of Shame

17 hours ago

Shortly after we were married, I began learning about her hidden past. I remember the first time vividly. Pleasing her orally was truly my only motivation. I thought she’d love it. Boy, was I clueless. After being cursed and thrown against the wall at the height of our lovemaking, I had purchased her several books on the topic of childhood sexual abuse. She was too ashamed to read them. We also had seen multiple therapists, although it had been several years ago. I tried not to take it personally. It was just confusing to me when she would suddenly yell “Stop!” forcibly pushing me away during sex. It’s like she didn’t trust me. Who was this unknown man from her childhood she would never speak of? It seemed so unfair. I had saved all of myself for this one woman, and now it’s like she didn’t want the best I had to offer. What did I do? Occasionally she would say she was angry at her parents for not protecting her from this older man. I believe it was her uncle. I grew up in a normal home. This was all foreign to me.

For years I had prayed about it, mostly complaining to God about why I had to endure what seemed so unfair. My buddies were able to do anything with their wives. Over the years my prayers had slowly morphed. Each time I read 1stCorinthians 13, the words made more sense. True sacrificial love was more than going down on your wife. Listening to God about what my wife needed brought more peace than talking to God about what I needed. I also intentionally chose to begin masturbating less.

Then one day things began to change. She had been going to an afternoon women’s Bible group. I have no idea what they had been studying, although I know she was one of the youngest women there. For some unknown reason, she just seemed more receptive to me. I’d come home from work, and she’d greet me with a smile. No longer did she turn her cheek to me when I went to kiss her. There had also been a box of Kleenex on the table stand next to her side of the bed for a while too. I really hadn’t given it a second thought. Long ago, I had given up on the hope of going down on her, although occasionally I would still fantasize about it in the shower.

When I walked in from the garage, music was playing. My wife was wearing my favorite jeans that show the top of her thong from the back. Today it was a simple white cotton one. She had on her loose fitting beige blouse that shows her midriff. I could see the outline of her breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra. That was a little odd. She truly is a beautiful woman. Her hair was still slightly wet from an afternoon shower. It was all kind of unusual to me. She had started a fire in our small corner bedroom fireplace. We hadn’t used it in years. I quickly checked to make sure the damper was open. It was. The fire had been going for a while because the wood was crackling. Knowing that she normally doesn’t mess with fire I asked, “Did you start that?”

“Uh huh,” she said smiling slightly. “Are you proud of me?”

I grinned back, raising my eyebrows slightly, wondering what had gotten into her. “I am.”

“You’ve had a long day darling. I’ve got your shower ready. The temperature is just how you like it. Let me help you with your belt buckle.” I allowed her to help me slip out of my pants wondering where all this was going.

Realizing it was Tuesday I asked, “What have you been studying in your women’s group?”

“Oh you know sweetheart. The same stuff you men study in your accountability group.” At this point she was unbuttoning my shirt. I was standing in my socks and CKs. Just being together like this had me somewhat aroused. It had been awhile.

“Have you been drinking?” I asked jokingly, knowing she had quit long ago.

“No dear – just waiting for you.” She handed me a towel and washcloth, making eye contact. “Don’t take too long in there now Sweetheart. I know you can sometimes.” She grinned at me in a knowing way. “I need you this afternoon.”

I knew I was busted for masturbating a little too long and too often, but quickly showered anyway. She definitely had my attention at this point. Stepping into our bedroom, I finished drying my back with the towel she had given me. My eyes opened wide to make sure they weren’t fooling me. There she was sitting against the backboard of our bed. Her hair was disheveled in a good way – sorta trampish. You could tell I liked her new look as my erect penis betrayed any attempt to conceal my true feelings. There she was in only her thong. Her jeans and blouse were crumbled up in a pile next to the bed. That’s very unusual for her as she’s normally a tidy person. Her back was arched some as she focused all her attention on her breasts – fondling them tenderly while massaging them slowly with our favorite lotion. Her nipples were already erect from kneading them between her fingers. Her vulva truly were beautiful. My cock was rock hard at this point. She still had her moist thong in her palm. Closing her eyes and tossing her still wet hair back in an intensely sensual way, she brought her damp thong to her nostrils, inhaling deeply. Desperately I wanted to mount her now, but stayed next to her like she commanded, not wanting to screw anything up. “Want a whiff?” she asked, offering them to me.

“Oh yeah” nodding my head quickly. In the past, I had sniffed her dirty panties, but it had been years since I had smelled her fresh cunt. She rubbed them under my nose with one hand while she lightly tickled my nuts with her other hand. They were beginning to churn. Instinctively, I tried to subtlety lick the wet spot.

“You can have the real thing.” It was a stupid thing to say but it just came out in the moment.

Closing her eyes, she opened her legs a little bit more and continued caressing her full breasts with her feminine hands. Her cunt was so beautiful. At first I just studied it. Rarely did I get to take in her beauty like this. She then slowly but deliberately pushed my shoulders down to between her legs. My face was about 10 inches away from her beautiful shaved lips. Placing my hands on the sides of her thighs, I paused… She felt incredible – so feminine. Turning my head to the left I gently kissed her inner thigh. She began to purrrrrr. Unwilling to look up at her eyes for fear of being rejected again, I turned my head to the right and kissed her other inner thigh. She seemed to like it. I deliberately advanced up her inner thighs, slowly caressing first one, then the other. I didn’t want this to stop. All I wanted to do was to express my love for her.

“Uh-uh.” She shook her index finger in front of my face. Then slipping off her thong. I could see there was a wet spot. She pointed down to her beautiful mound she had shaved and trimmed. Her vulva truly were beautiful. My cock was rock hard at this point. She still had her moist thong in her palm. Desperately I wanted to mount her now, but stayed next to her like she commanded, not wanting to screw anything up. “Want a whiff?” she asked, offering them to me.

“You can have the real thing.” It was a stupid thing to say but it just came out in the moment.

Closing her eyes, she opened her legs a little bit more and continued caressing her full breasts with her feminine hands. Her vulva was so beautiful. At first I just studied it. Rarely did I get to take in her beauty like this. She then slowly but deliberately pushed my shoulders down to between her legs. My face was about 10 inches away from her beautiful shaved lips. Placing my hands on the sides of her thighs, I paused… She felt incredible – so feminine. Turning my head to the left I gently kissed her inner thigh. She began to purrrrrr. Unwilling to look up at her eyes for fear of being rejected again, I turned my head to the right and kissed her other inner thigh. She seemed to like it. I deliberately advanced up her inner thighs, slowly caressing first one, then the other. I didn’t want this to stop. All I wanted to do was to express my love for her.

“Uh-huh, morrrre… please baby” she quietly admitted to both of us. Rotating her pelvis up some, she consciously reached down with her fingers, opening her most private parts to me. I was inches away from her gorgeous cunt. I inhaled deeply. Uh-huh. It was that same scent as her thong, only more pungent. More woman. More her. Desperately I wanted to kiss her moist cunt. Dare I? Gently puckering my lips, I kissed once.

This was my wife. In all her womanly glory. Up close and personal. She’s incredibly alluring. Glancing up at her, her eyes were closed. Slowly I caressed her external lips. Using my tongue, I followed the groove between her outer and inner lips. Up one side, then down the other. This steady predictable rotation of my tongue tip appeared to make her feel safe. My cock wanted to bury itself inside this succulent treasure, but it had been so long since had allowed me to pleasure her in this way. With both her hands, she pulled my head closer. I got on my knees to have something to push against. She appeared to like it. I could now push a little deeper with my tongue wiggling it slowly from side to side, and gently in and out.

“Yessss baby. That’s it.” She began slowly humping my face in rhythm with my tongue thrusts. I pulled her ass close, oscillating my tongue tip on her clit. “Oh God, yessssss.” Her words gave me permission to plunge deeply into her secret cavern. Deeeeeeeeep. I pulled her ass close and wiggled my tongue from side to side, now deep inside her sopped vault. Wanting her to feel safe, I visualized my tongue as my cock. There was no hurry. Striving to keep a rhythm – first in, then out. Repeatedly. Steadily. Over and over. I had waited so long. Sniiiiiiiiiffffff. This was so worth it! Using my masculine grip on her ass to pull her close each time my tongue pushed, allowed me to penetrate her just a bit more. She was loving it! And so was I. “Don’t stop Baby!” She buried my face in her cunt. I’d have to catch my breath each time I retracted my tongue. Desperately I wanted to kiss her moist cunt. Dare I? Gently puckering my lips, I kissed once.

This was my wife. In all her womanly glory. Up close and personal. She’s incredibly alluring. Glancing up at her, her eyes were

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