Flabby Shame, Silent Rage

I hate my body.” Barbara heard the words come out of her mouth. There, she’d said it, what she had felt since puberty. She slapped her flabby stomach. “I hate this fat!”

Her husband John reclined on their couch, enjoying his day off and doing something “important” on his tablet. At her vehement statement, he looked up. “What brought this on?”

“Oh, some stupid guys at the gym. They pointed at me and laughed. One of them said I didn’t deserve to be there.” She flopped down beside him.

John took her in his arms. “They don’t know what they’re talking about. The gym is specifically for people like you. I’m proud of you for doing something more than sitting at home and eating all day. At least you’re trying.”

Her eyes teared up. “I know that. But it has brought to the surface what I’ve always thought: that I hate my body. I’m fat! That’s all there is to it.”

“But I love your body.”

“How could you? Everywhere you look, sexy women are being thrown in your face.” She pointed both hands at her belly. “How could you love this?”

John’s eyes conveyed his sympathy for her. “Because it is attached to the most beautiful person I know.”

Her heart thawed a bit with that statement. “I feel as if I’ve trapped you into having sex with a fatty like me.” They had both been virgins when they married. Neither of them had been with another.

“First, you didn’t trap me. I chose you; over some knockouts, I might add.”

She nodded.

“Second, you are not fat. You have a weight issue, but you are not fat. There is a difference.”

She sighed. “I know what you are trying to do. But to me, it is just semantics. My body is part of my identity, and it has been this shape since I was a kid. I still remember the kids teasing me about it.”

“You mean bullying you about it.”

Barbara nodded as she grabbed a tissue and blew into it. “And that is why I hate my ugly, fat body.”

“But that’s just it. I don’t see your body as ugly or undesirable.” He patted her belly. “Besides, you’re comfortable during sex. You’re not bony.”

She chuckled despite herself. “No, definitely not bony.”

John hugged her. “You only think of yourself as ugly because you’re comparing yourself to others. In some cultures, fat women are the ideal.”

“But we are in this culture. And I’m tired of not being fit and trim. People treat you differently.”

John thought a moment. “Yes, they do. They treat ‘fit and trim’ women like sex objects too often. Those women have to put up with catcalls and whistles from total strangers. They never know if a guy who wants to go out with them is doing so because of who they are as a person or just because their body is culturally attractive and they are hoping to get them into bed. Those are things you don’t have to put up with.”

Her eyes widened as she processed what he had said. “You’re right. I had never thought of it that way before.”

John smiled. “And you know what? You are a very beautiful and sexy person. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and I am beholding a very dedicated mother, a great wife, and a sexy lover. Not because of your body or in spite of it either, but because you are mine, and I chose you to be mine. You. Are. Beautiful to me. And for myself, that is all that matters.”

Tears welled up in Barbara’s eyes. She hugged him tightly as she sobbed. Through the crying, she admitted, “And that should be the only thing I compare myself to. I’m yours, and you are mine.”

“That’s right. We are one.” John squeezed her back as she cried on his shoulders for a moment. Then he said, “You know what else?”

She sniffed and blew into her tissue again. “What?”

“You want proof of just how sexy you are to me?”

She raised an eyebrow. “How can you prove that?”

John took her hand and placed it in his crotch. “Look what just hugging you did to me.”

The outline of his rigid hard-on greeted her fingers. Her eyes widened. “Oh, that’s how. Pretty convincing.” She pumped it a couple of times.

He closed his eyes. “Um, now that feels great.” Barbara loved the way John responded to her sexual skills. He always gave her great feedback.

Then it hit her. John really did love her body. He thought she was sexy. Whose word would she take for that? Her life-long partner or three guys at the gym who had no clue what sexy was about? According to John, she was sexy, fat and all. And she loved him and knew he was sexy as well. She reached up and locked her lips onto his. Her tongue danced with his as they tasted the love and desire of each other.

As she kept her tongue in his mouth, she unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off. He’d lit a fire in her that he would have to satisfy for he was the only one who could or should.

John’s hands caressing her boobs through her bra sent tingles across her skin. She broke her kiss and said, “I love you so much. Now you’re going to get all this body can give.”

He smiled. “That’s my girl!” Reaching behind her as their lips rejoined, he undid her bra and let it fall to the floor as she shrugged out of it.

Barbara pulled his T-shirt off and began unbuckling his pants. They broke their kissing long enough to finish disrobing. She stood naked before him, and he didn’t flinch or turn away in disgust. Instead, he positioned her on the couch so that her legs spread apart and made her wet pussy available to his lips. Then he dived in.

A warm kiss met Barbara’s labia. John’s mouth ascended the height of her fold then descended again. She wanted him so badly! “Tongue. I need your tongue in me!”

He chuckled between her legs.

She grabbed his head and pushed it into her as she thrust her hips to meet him. “I said I want tongue, now!”

A wet tongue immediately responded to her demands. Barbara continued to rock her hips in response to his licking. As John’s tongue broke into her inner chamber and danced around her clitoris, she sighed. “Ahhhhhhhhhh! Here it comes!”

Her body vibrated as the beginnings of an orgasm took hold. She moaned, louder with each wave of energy that flowed through her body. “Oh, oh, oh, . . . here it comes!”

John now licked her clitoris directly and greedily, as if he were a dog in heat. His head rose with her hips, keeping pressure on her nub.

Electrical energy surged through Barbara, causing a cascade of intense pleasure to echo throughout her ‘ugly’ beautiful body. Every stroke of his tongue increased the intensity until it rose to a crescendo. “Ahhhhhhhhhh!” Barbara held herself up as the intensity of her pleasure crested. Then a warm buzz rolled from her groin to her toes, replacing her pleasure-high. She allowed herself to relax and enjoy the afterglow as he licked up her juices.

Barbara rose to her elbows. The sight of his hard dick pulsing with his heartbeat reminded her that his heart and penis beat only for her. A craving to taste him invaded her mind. She hopped up on her knees and pushed him down upon the couch in one motion. Then she ran her fingers lightly up and down his shaft, before encircling his purple head. He groaned in response. Barbara flicked her tongue along his taunt member, starting at his balls and up to his head.

Finally, John said, “I want my dick in your mouth. Now!”

Barbara couldn’t help but smile; now he knew how it felt. But she opened wide. If he wanted it now, he would get it now — all of it! She sank down his cock. His veins pulsed against her tongue as his shaft filled her mouth and throat.

He tensed. “Oh, girl! You have no idea what you do to me!”

Barbara continued to rock her hips in response to his licking. Her breath came in ragged gasps as she arched her back in pleasure. The heat intensified, radiating through her entire body. Finally, she let out a primal scream, her muscles clenching and releasing in waves of ecstasy.

John’s eyes rolled back in his head as he surrendered completely to her pleasure. His body thrashed and writhed in response, his muscles working in perfect synchronization with hers. Every touch, every lick, every thrust brought them closer to the brink. They lost themselves in a world of pure sensation, oblivious to everything but the pleasure they were experiencing. Their bodies intertwined, a tangled mess of limbs and skin, as they reached the peak of their passion.

As the wave of pleasure subsided, they collapsed back onto the couch, breathless and exhausted. They lay there for a moment, savoring the lingering warmth and satisfaction. Then, John gently stroked her hair, whispering, "You are beautiful."

Barbara leaned into his touch, her heart overflowing with love and gratitude. She knew that she had found her soulmate, and that their love would last forever. Looking down at her body, she realized that she no longer hated it. In fact, she had never felt more beautiful in her life. Her body was a testament to her strength, her resilience, and her ability to overcome adversity. And it was the perfect vessel for the love she shared with John.

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