Forbidden Longing, Secret Desire

The rain hammered against the windows of my tiny apartment, mirroring the frantic rhythm of my own heart. Just a year ago, I was a lost soul, wrestling with a hunger I couldn’t name, a shame that clung to me like a second skin. Now, thanks to the anonymous wisdom of strangers online, I’d begun to understand, to accept, to even embrace this overwhelming desire. And now, I was writing this letter, pouring out my soul to a man I hadn’t even met, a man who held the key to everything I’d ever craved.

He'd responded to my initial post, a simple, hesitant message that had sent shivers down my spine. He was kind, intelligent, and possessed an undeniable magnetism that drew me in like a moth to a flame. We’d exchanged emails for weeks, our conversations growing increasingly intimate, filled with stolen glances and unspoken desires. And now, here I was, committing my deepest longing to paper, a desperate plea for a connection that felt both terrifying and utterly essential.

“My Sweetheart,” I began, the words tumbling out in a torrent of pent-up emotion. “I love you. I can already feel you within me, buried deep within my soul. You’re a force, a presence, an undeniable pull that’s changed everything.” The rain intensified, a wild, chaotic soundtrack to my confessions. I paused, taking a deep breath, steeling myself for the raw honesty that was about to spill forth.

“I’m going to want us to make love. A lot. Every day. I’ll likely not be able to keep my hands off of you. When I wake the first thing I will do is reach to find you, and bring you close enough to feel you deep inside me. I want our union to be so transient and so complete that the most natural inclination we both have is to share our love through becoming one flesh.” The thought of that, of surrendering completely to the pleasure, made my body thrum with anticipation.

I continued, my fingers tracing the words on the page, each sentence a testament to the depth of my yearning. “I may ask you to make love to me each morning, surely you will comply. But my darling, please do not hesitate when I ask you to make love to me again. If you do not return my desire I fear my heart will grow faint with sorrow. Please do not turn me away.” The vulnerability in those words was almost unbearable, but it felt necessary, a way to bridge the distance between us and reveal the true extent of my need.

“Instead, let us share in rapturous bliss a second time, and a third time, and a fourth time, until absolutely spent, we collapse in each other’s embrace only to find that we meet one another in our dreams.” The image of that intertwined intimacy, that complete merging of souls, filled me with an almost unbearable ache. It was more than just physical pleasure; it was an escape, a refuge from the loneliness that had haunted me for so long.

“I am going to want my hands all over you, every inch of you. I’m going to want to touch you. I’m going to want to be able to satisfy my endless desire for you, I will want you so badly that it will seem almost painful. Though I will likely never tell you in person that that is what is happening. From my outer countenance you likely would not know the deep, blazing fire and steady ache that are encompassing my soul. But I’ll need you, everything within me will be screaming, go to him, go to him, and I won’t be able to fight it. I pray that you won’t want me to.” The heat of that imagined encounter, the desperate need for release, was becoming overwhelming. I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes and letting the rain wash over me, a cleansing ritual before diving headfirst into the pleasure I craved.

“I am going to crave the taste of you, swelling within me until I can’t breathe. I am going to relentlessly desire the taste of you, your pleasure building until you spill your love inside of me, a gift I will eagerly accept.” The thought of his lips on my skin, his hands exploring every curve and contour, sent shivers down my spine. My breath hitched in my throat, a silent plea for him to come closer, to fulfill the promise held within these words.

“I am going to crave you inside my core. The feel of you becoming one with me. I am going to want to make love to you. My baby, I am going to need it so much. I will want your hands everywhere all at once, casting away the years of agonizing loneliness that I endured without your touch.” The memory of those lonely nights, of longing for connection, burned in my mind. Now, the prospect of finally having him, of experiencing that primal need, felt both exhilarating and terrifying.

“You’ll be my first everything. How could I not wait anxiously for you? My sweet one, I faithfully await the day that we will finally be able to hold each other close and be as one; as we were meant to be. At this very moment I am aching to hold you close.” I gripped the paper in my hands, feeling the rough texture against my skin, grounding me in the present moment. The desire was building, a tidal wave threatening to consume me.

“I am going to love you so much, forever, my sweetheart. I already do.” The words were a desperate affirmation, a declaration of my complete devotion. I knew that this letter was a gamble, a leap of faith into the unknown. But the pull towards him, towards the promise of complete fulfillment, was too strong to resist.

“Eternally yours, Me.” I finished, folding the letter carefully and sealing it with a kiss. As I slipped it into an envelope, a single tear rolled down my cheek, a mixture of anticipation, fear, and overwhelming joy.

The rain began to subside, the clouds parting to reveal a sliver of moon. I rose from my chair, stretching my limbs and taking a deep breath, feeling a renewed sense of purpose. He was out there, waiting for me. And when he found me, I would be ready. I would give him everything I had, every ounce of desire, every inch of my being. Because in that moment, all I wanted was to be completely consumed by him, lost in the intoxicating pleasure of his touch. The thought alone made me tremble with anticipation, a delicious torment that fueled my every breath. Now, to wait for his response, and let the game truly begin.

The next morning, I found myself restless, unable to focus on anything but the anticipation of his reply. I paced the small apartment, running my fingers over the letter, rereading his words over and over again. Each phrase, each sentence, seemed to pulse with a hidden energy, drawing me deeper into the depths of my own desires. My body ached, not with pain, but with a desperate longing for connection, for release, for the touch that would finally silence the yearning in my soul.

Finally, the message arrived. A single line, typed in all caps: “Come find me.” My heart leaped in my chest, a frantic drumbeat against my ribs. It was an invitation, a challenge, a promise of the pleasure I craved. Without hesitation, I grabbed my keys and rushed out the door, eager to meet him, to finally fulfill the promise held within this letter.

As I approached the address he had provided, a small, dimly lit warehouse on the outskirts of town, my senses heightened, my body trembling with anticipation. The rain had stopped, leaving behind a damp, earthy scent in the air. I could hear the distant rumble of thunder, a fitting soundtrack to the storm of emotions raging within me.

I took a deep breath and pushed open the heavy metal door, stepping into a world of shadows and secrets. The warehouse was filled with strange objects, discarded furniture, and an overall air of disuse. But then, I saw him. He was leaning against a wall, his back to me, a dark silhouette in the dim light.

As he turned, his eyes met mine, and in that instant, the world seemed to fade away. He was even more captivating than I had imagined, his features sharp and intense, his gaze filled with a primal hunger that mirrored my own. A slow smile spread across his lips, a silent invitation to come closer.

And I did. I moved towards him, drawn by an invisible force, each step fueled by the desperate need that had consumed me for so long. As we drew closer, the scent of him filled my senses, a potent mixture of musk and leather that sent shivers down my spine.

Then, without a word, he reached out and took my hand. His touch was electric, igniting a fire within me that threatened to consume me entirely. He pulled me closer, his body pressing against mine, and I knew, without a doubt, that this was the beginning of something extraordinary. Something both terrifying and utterly essential. It was the beginning of a love that would consume us both, leaving no room for anything else in our lives. The rain had stopped, but the storm within me had only just begun.

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