Husband's Velvet Grip

My first experiences with anal sex were neither godly nor pleasurable. So it might surprise you that I’ve enjoyed being fucked in the ass by my husband for most of our 27 year marriage. It’s only in the past year or two, though, that I’ve been willing to explore anal sexuality for his enjoyment. I guess, probably like most women, I was afraid I’d turn him gay. It took years of patience on his part to negate the thought and then allow me to process it at my own pace. As far as he knew, I may never be comfortable with that kind of activity between us. And he made up his mind to put it in God’s hands. If the Lord wanted him to enjoy that source of fulfillment, He would have to bring me to a place of acceptance. And He did. It was weird, really. Nothing “happened” to make me change my mind. One day, while blowing him, I just had an idea that it would be fun to slide my finger into his asshole. I knew he stimulated himself there. He told me that he used an Aneros to massage his prostate and that it was very enjoyable, to say the least. He never did it in front of me, knowing it would freak me out. But when he had to travel for work, his Helix went along. I guess I just decided to trust that, as my husband surmised, God put those pleasure sensors there for a reason. So I slicked my middle digit up with saliva and slipped it in, following his directions to his prostate. I figured that he would be pleased and aroused by my sudden change of behavior. But I was not prepared for the intensity of his response nor for my visceral reaction to that response. His wild writhing and moaning stirred up in me feelings of love and a power to please that fed something deep inside me. When he had come down from what he called a prostate orgasm, we cuddled and talked about what had happened. He reassured me that he wanted no one but me, and that if I never wanted to do that again, it was fine by him. That did it for me. My irrational fears fled. I decided that if I could trust him to stay faithful when Iwas’ntdoing everything within my power to meet his desires, then I could sure trust him when Iwas! That day was a real turning point in our sexual relationship. My finger and his butt became best friends.

Then one day he surprised me by using his prostate massager while he waited for me to come in from my bath. That led to a fun exploration which I wrote abouthere. Next we introduced my tongue. Oh, my! Everything I thought about ass-eating was flipped on its ear. I was so turned on by the smell and taste of his freshly irrigated anus that my pussy literally dripped. I was a wild woman, licking and tonguing his sphincter with abandon. He had to ask me to stop. Twice. (He wanted his turn to please me.)

The next step was fantasizing aloud during sex – especially when he was slipping in and out of my well-lubed rosebud – that it was me fucking him instead. This went on for a few weeks, time which he also used to send me articles about ‘pegging’, a term I had never heard before. We researched size recommendations for starter dildos and who made the best harnesses for the money. There was more information out there than I expected.

That was followed up with watching videos together to get some pointers on proper technique. Quick caveat: I don’t recommend porn in general. It bothers me that most couples are (or seem to be) unmarried to each other. Before you decide whether to follow the route we did, pray, know your weaknesses and avoid stumbling blocks.

When we decided there was little more to research, it was time to practice. We made our first trip together to our local sex shop. It is very tastefully run and the employees made it very comfortable for us to ask questions. They encouraged us to feel the differing weights, girths, and textures of various options. Not knowing very much, we felt shopping locally was better than shopping online anonymously. We needed the hands-on experience.

That day, we came home with a Spare Parts Tomboi harness-and-dildo combo pack. The harness is like a pair of spandex briefs with a pouch and ring to hold the base of the smooth black 6.5” dildo against my lower abdomen. It was nice and tight, not all loosey-goosey like some of the harnesses we had seen in use. We thought it would help with stability later. But first, I needed to learn the ‘ins and outs’ of loving my baby’s rear. That meant holding the dildo at first rather than wearing it. He lay on his back and pulled his knees up so that I could see what I was doing. (In retrospect, this was not the best starting position.)

I used lots of coconut oil on him, internally and externally. Hubby has a medicine syringe from the baby care section of the drugstore. Cutting away the squirting end created an open tube with a plunger. With the the plunger removed we could easily press the tube into the firm oil to fill it. Then we popped it in the freezer for about 30 minutes, after which we used the plunger to push the plug out of the syringe. This we popped into a ziptop baggie that we could keep in the freezer until needed.

Inserting the plug was something he was already used to, but I had to learn to point it up toward his belly button for a quick, comfortable entry. There was also a sharp edge to my freshly-trimmed fingernail that I should have buried in the coconut oil plug; it proved to be a bit uncomfortable. We petted and necked for a few minutes to give the oil time to melt. Then I lubed up the toy and tried to insert it. What a fiasco. “Higher. No, that’s too high. Try tilting it down. No, the other way. Ouch! Next time slower, please. Let it sit there a minute so I can get used to it.” All the communication was great! The results were less so. After only a few minutes, he was ready to call it quits for this session. I was pretty sad that it hadn’t gone very well. I hurt my darlin’! But we had gone into it knowing that we had a lot to learn. Nobody expected me to be an expert on my first exploratory mission, least of all me.

So, reassured that neither of us wanted to give up, we went back to our research. I found out that it was best to start with him on all fours. He bought a bottle of water-based lube specifically labeled for anal sex. And we decided next time would be with the harness. All told, the results were much better on the second go. We put pillows down on the edge of the bed and he lay on his stomach over them. He helped with the visuals by pulling his ass cheeks apart for me. That and keeping my glasses on did the trick. My aim was much better, and I think my technique was pretty good, too. I felt that the lube dried out too quickly; I was constantly adding more or hitting it with a spray bottle of water we kept nearby. And Rez was ready to stop after only 15 or 20 minutes. We decided there were still improvements we could make, like going back to coconut oil. But all in all, we met with success.

It seemed to us, though, that the biggest culprit in the lack of comfort for him was the extreme stiffness of the dildo from the combo pack. We felt another trip to the sex store was in order. This time we purchased a dual density, realistically shaped and textured dildo of the same length and minimally increased girth over the smooth one. *This may be a sticking point for some couples. The idea of using something that looks like the real thing on your man may bother one or both of you. There are probably comfortable options out there that will work for you. I just can’t personally recommend any.* Best purchase ever! The third time was the charm for us because with the softer, more flexible dildo I was able to penetrate him easily and comfortably. And the tight fit of the Tomboi harness meant I could control it well. I gave it to him for well over an hour. I was working my ass off, though. It was hard, but so worth it. Watching him writhing in pleasure, hearing his guttural groans and cries, was so arousing that I squirted! That usually requires a more direct form of stimulation for me.

We have experimented with a few other positions since then, transitioning between them during hours of extended play (with short breaks as needed): Him on his back with knees up or legs on my shoulders. Him flat on his tummy with me straddling him. Once or twice with him on his side and me straddling his lower leg while holding the other. Him on all fours on the bed, down as low as he could go, and me squatting, straddling his rear end (which I call bulldogging.) And reverse cowboy with me lying at the edge of the bed, knees up and him standing between my feet to lower himself onto and off of “my cock”, as we call it. Those all worked great, though the tummy and side-lying ones really need a longer dildo to stay inserted well.

But my absolute favorite position (and his, too, I think) is when he rides me cowboy-style. I love to hold his gaze and listen to him gasp and moan in pleasure. And the way he leans back with his hands on my legs while his eyes roll back in his head and tremors shake his whole body – almost heaven.

We now own a slightly bigger but softer, poseable dildo. It has its pros and cons. The smaller one has a slight upward curve, so I can put it on upside down when coming from behind and really reach his prostate well. While the bigger one offers deeper stimulation and more of a stretch now that we’ve worked up to it, its bendiness means I can’t always get it right where we want it. There can be such a thing as too much flexibility.

I’ve now graduated to a harness with adjustable straps. There are different styles, but we chose one with two leg straps rather than a single strap between the legs. That way he has easy access for ‘turning the tables’, so to speak. It also has a wide, lace-up-corset style back pad that helps with stability. So far, I haven’t had to use my hands to keep it steady or tight against my body. I also like that this brand (Adam & Eve) has little pockets that will hold the folded-up straps so they aren’t dangling. But I have a leather Jaguar with a Minx corset back panel by ASLAN on my birthday wishlist. And Rez is ready to upsize, too!

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