Reclaimed Desire: A Forgotten Flame

Jessamyn’s parents, the Hortons, drove away, leaving her and Eddie Rawson alone in their small, stucco-walled house in southern California. Eddie, recently released from the hospital and rehabilitation center after almost four months following a devastating plane crash, watched Jess lock the front door and meticulously ensure the porch lights were on. A strange perplexity etched his face; the people who’d just left kept telling him Jess was his wife. They all seemed to know him well, especially her. It felt surreal that a woman as beautiful as Jess could actually be his wife. She could be a swimsuit model, he thought, with those hips, tanned legs, and long, wavy copper hair. Maybe she was. He couldn’t remember. The plane accident had caused severe head trauma and leg injuries, and his memory was still fragmented.

Jess, in turn, felt a disorienting uncertainty as she approached her husband. Eddie’s gaze lingered on her, appraising and searching as if straining to place her face and form in the recesses of his mind. She felt like she was interacting with a stranger, despite the lingering traces of their courting days and the first year of their marriage. The swagger and charm that had characterized their relationship before the crash had vanished, replaced by a serious demeanor. Yet, she found this new version of Eddie more appealing than the man she’d known before. A serious man, she realized, was far more attractive than a Romeo. And with the current situation, she felt as if she were reliving her romance with a slightly different version of the same man.

Right now, Eddie was wearing casual slacks and a polo shirt, the short sleeves rolled up to reveal his biceps. His hair was a light russet shade, thin and gelled in a wave across his hard, narrow forehead. Jess found herself taking in his features for the thousandth time: his grave, well-cut face, its rounded jaws and molded cleft chin clean-shaven; his brown eyes, a little shy; and the scars around his eyes and mouth, remnants of his injuries.

“Eddie, do you want to sit out by the pool for a bit?” she asked. “It’s a beautiful night.”

He nodded slightly. “Sure.” He took her hand and led her out to the patio.

The night was indeed beautiful. June in southern California was renowned for its warmth and sunshine. The Rawsons had a small but charming house, complete with a courtyard featuring a pool, barbecue, and a strip of landscaped yard. Jess took great pride in keeping the house inviting, particularly for Eddie. It was her one great desire to make their home a true home for him.

Eddie pulled an iron chair out for her at the little bistro table, then settled into the other. He slung an ankle up to rest on the opposite knee and set his elbow on the table. The spot felt relaxing, and he recognized nothing, taking Jess’s word for it that this was truly his house.

“Did you plant all those things?” he finally broke the silence, pointing at some palms around the patio.

“Actually, they’ve been here a while,” she smiled. “But I put the jasmine in right there. See, it’ll climb up all over the walls and smell intoxicating on warm nights.”

Eddie inhaled deeply. “I do smell it. Kind of like perfume. Or… uh, are you wearing perfume?”

“A little. Do you like it?” Her tone was warm and tinged with longing.

“Yeah.” Maybe the combination of the bright moon, the twinkling house lights reflecting off the pool water, the fresh breeze, and the beautiful woman sitting just a few feet away made him feel a little nervous.

Just this afternoon, he’d come home. An instinctive feeling told him that Jess would soon want to head to bed, and he wasn’t sure if he should go with her. After all, she’d been without him for several months. Maybe she liked it that way. Besides a welcoming kiss this morning at the sanitarium, she had made no move to show any affection. And he admitted to himself that he didn’t know how to respond if she did try anything. To him, she was an attractive stranger, whose relationship to him he had to accept, at present, on trust. The very idea of touching her arms or kissing her lips sent a shiver of apprehension down his spine.

Quietly, Jess stood up and wandered around the pool, simply observing the water. Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off her. The graceful swing of her hips, sheathed in a pencil skirt, aroused him greatly. And those legs! So well-shaped and smooth. She’d ditched her heels and was ambling around barefoot, her hands palms-down on her lower back.

Eddie swallowed. What if all of this was somehow a big lie? In his condition, he might be deceived. But what would be the reason? It didn't make sense. If Jess was his wife, then there was nothing wrong in looking. Besides, the way she was swaying her lower half was impossible to ignore.

“You know what?” she suddenly asked, turning back to him. “It’s so warm, and I’m feeling a little dangerous. Let’s go swimming!”

His eyebrows popped upwards. “As in… this second?”

“Well, I’ll go get into a bathing suit,” she laughed agreeably, “but I love swimming at night. We, uh, used to sometimes, Eddie.”

A look at the pool, dark and clear with light flashing off the ripples, and then another look at her, and Eddie sighed in some despair. “I can’t remember any of it!”

She came up and knelt in front of him, taking his hands with hers. “It’ll come back. The doctors are so hopeful,” she reassured him earnestly. The tenderness of her eyes, which looked so much larger and softer in the dark, pulled him. He thought about leaning in and kissing her, but she stood up. “Now I’ll go change. You know, you could just go in your shorts.” And she vanished into the house.

Was he supposed just to undress here, outside? Well, no one could see them. Thank goodness for the privacy. But… she would see him. Okay, okay. Remember, she’d seen him lots of times, and not even with his shorts. It felt awkward, but it really wasn't. Trying to convince himself and taking long breaths of the summery air to relax him, Eddie unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it over his head. His undershirt followed, then his shoes and socks, and lastly, his belt and slacks. He stood there in his undershorts, feeling strangely exposed but also strangely invigorated.

A wolf-whistle startled him, and he jerked around. Jess had paused in the doorway under the light. It only took a millisecond for his brain to take in the half-opened silk blue robe partially covering her luscious body. Underneath, he could see a very revealing white bikini.

She had a tiny smile playing at her lips and admiration in her eyes. “Hello, handsome.” He didn’t know she’d arrived back in time to see him strip, and the sight heated his blood. The graceful swing of her hips, sheathed in the pencil skirt, allured him. And those legs! So well-shaped and smooth. She’d ditched her heels and was ambling around barefoot, hands palms-down on her lower back.

Eddie swallowed. What if all of this was somehow a big lie? In his condition, he might be deceived. But what would be the reason? No, it didn’t make sense. If Jess was his wife, then there was nothing wrong in looking. Besides, the way she was swaying her lower half was impossible to ignore.

“You know what?” she suddenly asked, turning back to him. “It’s so warm, and I’m feeling a little dangerous. Let’s go swimming!”

His eyebrows popped upwards. “As in… this second?”

“Well, I’ll go get into a bathing suit,” she laughed agreeably, “but I love swimming at night. We, uh, used to sometimes, Eddie.”

A look at the pool, dark and clear with light flashing off the ripples, and then another look at her, and Eddie sighed in some despair. “I can’t remember any of it!”

She came up and knelt in front of him, taking his hands with hers. “It’ll come back. The doctors are so hopeful,” she reassured him earnestly. The tenderness of her eyes, which looked so much larger and softer in the dark, pulled him. He thought about leaning in and kissing her, but she stood up. “Now I’ll go change. You know, you could just go in your shorts.” And she vanished into the house.

He was supposed just to undress here, outside? Well, no one could see them. Thank goodness for the privacy. But… she would see him. Okay, okay. Remember, she’d seen him lots of times, and not even with his shorts. It felt awkward, but it really wasn’t. Trying to convince himself and taking long breaths of the summery air to relax him, Eddie unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it over his head. His undershirt followed, then his shoes and socks, and lastly, his belt and slacks. He stood there in his undershorts, feeling strangely exposed but also strangely invigorated.

A wolf-whistle startled him, and he jerked around. Jess had paused in the doorway under the light. It only took a millisecond for his brain to take in the half-opened silk blue robe partially covering her luscious body. Underneath, he could see a very revealing white bikini.

She had a tiny smile playing at her lips and admiration in her eyes. “Hello, handsome.” He didn’t know she’d arrived back in time to see him strip, and the sight heated his blood. The graceful swing of her hips, sheathed in the pencil skirt, allured him. And those legs! So well-shaped and smooth. She’d ditched her heels and was ambling around barefoot, hands palms-down on her lower back.

Eddie swallowed. What if all of this was somehow a big lie? In his condition, he might be deceived. But what would be the reason? No, it didn’t make sense. If Jess was his wife, then there was nothing wrong in looking. Besides, the way she was swaying her lower half was impossible to ignore.

“You know what?” she suddenly asked, turning back to him. “It’s so warm, and I’m feeling a little dangerous. Let’s go swimming!”

His eyebrows popped upwards. “As in… this second?”

“Well, I’ll go get into a bathing suit,” she laughed agreeably, “but I love swimming at night. We, uh, used to sometimes, Eddie.”

A look at the pool, dark and clear with light flashing off the ripples, and then another look at her, and Eddie sighed in some despair. “I can’t remember any of it!”

She came up and knelt in front of him, taking his hands with hers. “It’ll come back. The doctors are so hopeful,” she reassured him earnestly. The tenderness of her eyes, which looked so much larger and softer in the dark, pulled him. He thought about leaning in and kissing her, but she stood up. “Now I’ll go change. You know, you could just go in your shorts.” And she vanished into the house.

He was supposed just to undress here, outside? Well, no one could see them. Thank goodness for the privacy. But… she would see him. Okay, okay. Remember, she’d seen him lots of times, and not even with his shorts. It felt awkward, but it really wasn’t. Trying to convince himself and taking long breaths of the summery air to relax him, Eddie unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it over his head. His undershirt followed, then his shoes and socks, and lastly, his belt and slacks. He stood there in his undershorts, feeling strangely exposed but also strangely invigorated.

A wolf-whistle startled him, and he jerked around. Jess had paused in the doorway under the light. It only took a millisecond for his brain to take in the half-opened silk blue robe partially covering her luscious body. Underneath, he could see a very revealing white bikini.

She had a tiny smile playing at her lips and admiration in her eyes. “Hello, handsome.” He didn’t know she’d arrived back in time to see him strip, and the sight heated his blood. The graceful swing of her hips, sheathed in the pencil skirt, allured him. And those legs! So well-shaped and smooth. She’d ditched her heels and was ambling around barefoot, hands palms-down on her lower back.

Eddie swallowed. What if all of this was somehow a big lie? In his condition, he might be deceived. But what would be the reason? No, it didn’t make sense. If Jess was his wife, then there was nothing wrong in looking. Besides, the way she was swaying her lower half was impossible to ignore.

“You know what?” she suddenly asked, turning back to him. “It’s so warm, and I’m feeling a little dangerous. Let’s go swimming!”

His eyebrows popped upwards. “As in… this second?”

“Well, I’ll go get into a bathing suit,” she laughed agreeably, “but I love swimming at night. We, uh, used to sometimes, Eddie.”

A look at the pool, dark and clear with light flashing off the ripples, and then another look at her, and Eddie sighed in some despair. “I can’t remember any of it!”

She came up and knelt in front of him, taking his hands with hers. “It’ll come back. The doctors are so hopeful,” she reassured him earnestly. The tenderness of her eyes, which looked so much larger and softer in the dark, pulled him. He thought about leaning in and kissing her, but she stood up. “Now I’ll go change. You know, you could just go in your shorts.” And she vanished into the house.

He was supposed just to undress here, outside? Well, no one could see them. Thank goodness for the privacy. But… she would see him. Okay, okay. Remember, she’d seen him lots of times, and not even with his shorts. It felt awkward, but it really wasn’t. Trying to convince himself and taking long breaths of the summery air to relax him, Eddie unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it over his head. His undershirt followed, then his shoes and socks, and lastly, his belt and slacks. He stood there in his undershorts, feeling strangely exposed but also strangely invigorated.

A wolf-whistle startled him, and he jerked around. Jess had paused in the doorway under the light. It only took a millisecond for his brain to take in the half-opened silk blue robe partially covering her luscious body. Underneath, he could see a very revealing white bikini.

She had a tiny smile playing at her lips and admiration in her eyes. “Hello, handsome.” He didn’t know she’d arrived back in time to see him strip, and the sight heated his blood. The graceful swing of her hips, sheathed in the pencil skirt, allured him. And those legs! So well-shaped and smooth. She’d ditched her heels and was ambling around barefoot, hands palms-down on her lower back.

Eddie swallowed. What if all of this was somehow a big lie? In his condition, he might be deceived. But what would be the reason? No, it didn’t make sense. If Jess was his wife, then there was nothing wrong in looking. Besides, the way she was swaying her lower half was impossible to ignore.

“You know what?” she suddenly asked, turning back to him. “It’s so warm, and I’m feeling a little dangerous. Let’s go swimming!”

His eyebrows popped upwards. “As in… this second?”

“Well, I’ll go get into a bathing suit,” she laughed agreeably, “but I love swimming at night. We, uh, used to sometimes, Eddie.”

A look at the pool, dark and clear with light flashing off the ripples, and then another look at her, and Eddie sighed in some despair. “I can’t remember any of it!”

She came up and knelt in front of him, taking his hands with hers. “It’ll come back. The doctors are so hopeful,” she reassured him earnestly. The tenderness of her eyes, which looked so much larger and softer in the dark, pulled him. He thought about leaning in and kissing her, but she stood up. “Now I’ll go change. You know, you could just go in your shorts.” And she vanished into the house.

He was supposed just to undress here, outside? Well, no one could see them. Thank goodness for the privacy. But… she would see him. Okay, okay. Remember, she’d seen him lots of times, and not even with his shorts. It felt awkward, but it really wasn’t. Trying to convince himself and taking long breaths of the summery air to relax him, Eddie unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it over his head. His undershirt followed, then his shoes and socks, and lastly, his belt and slacks. He stood there in his undershorts, feeling strangely exposed but also strangely invigorated.

A wolf-whistle startled him, and he jerked around. Jess had paused in the doorway under the light. It only took a millisecond for his brain to take in the half-opened silk blue robe partially covering her luscious body. Underneath, he could see a very revealing white bikini.

She had a tiny smile playing at her lips and admiration in her eyes. “Hello, handsome.” He didn’t know she’d arrived back in time to see him strip, and the sight heated his blood. The graceful swing of her hips, sheathed in the pencil skirt, allured him. And those legs! So well-shaped and smooth. She’d ditched her heels and was ambling around barefoot, hands palms-down on her lower back.

Eddie swallowed. What if all of this was somehow a big lie? In his condition, he might be deceived. But what would be the reason? No, it didn’t make sense. If Jess was his wife, then there was nothing wrong in looking. Besides, the way she was swaying her lower half was impossible to ignore.

“You know what?” she suddenly asked, turning back to him. “It’s so warm, and I’m feeling a little dangerous. Let’s go swimming!”

His eyebrows popped upwards. “As in… this second?”

“Well, I’ll go get into a bathing suit,” she laughed agreeably, “but I love swimming at night. We, uh, used to sometimes, Eddie.”

A look at the pool, dark and clear with light flashing off

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