The Replacements

Hello! You must be the person my therapist arranged to visit. Come on in. Welcome to my home.

Thank you. Yes, she sent me over. I’m the licensed sexual surrogate your therapist arranged. Thank you for scheduling.

Oh, you’re welcome. Please sit over there on the couch. I’ll sit here on the recliner. Can I get you anything?

Yes, your plan of care indicates you enjoy ice-cold local craft beers, and that sounds wonderful on a muggy day like today. Thank you for having the windows open, by the way. That breeze helps; looks like a storm is coming. And I read that you also like Indie Music?

Alexa, play the Ivy station on Pandora.

Nice. I like Ivy, too—and Zero 7, Beck, Ulrich Schnauss… Oh, and thank you for the beer. No, straight out of the bottle is fine. Mmmmm, that’s really good.

I’m sorry, ah, what is your name again? What should I call you?

My name is Katie. You can call me Katie or Kate. It’s up to you. How would you like me to address you?

My name is Kenneth, but you can call me Ken.

Perfect. So, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed, let alone had the opportunity to… you know… I’m embarrassed to say.

Make love with a woman?

Yes… Katie. I’m nervous being alone with you. This is a huge thing for me.

Make love with a woman?

Oh, you’re welcome, Ken. In fact, we don’t have to do anything for this session. We can sit here and talk. Be together as new friends. Or if you prefer, I can leave. No harm, no foul.

No! I didn’t mean that, Katie. Please stay. I’m just… afraid, that’s all. I don’t quite know what to do. I’m also nervous because I can tell you’re… quite pretty.

Oh?

Well, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

I’m sorry, ah, what is your name again? What should I call you?

My name is Katie. You can call me Katie or Kate. It’s up to you. How would you like me to address you?

My name is Kenneth, but you can call me Ken.

Perfect. So, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed, let alone had the opportunity to… you know… I’m embarrassed to say.

Make love with a woman?

Yes… Katie. I’m nervous being alone with you. This is a huge thing for me.

Make love with a woman?

Oh, you’re welcome, Ken. In fact, we don’t have to do anything for this session. We can sit here and talk. Be together as new friends. Or if you prefer, I can leave. No harm, no foul.

No! I didn’t mean that, Katie. Please stay. I’m just… afraid, that’s all. I don’t quite know what to do. I’m also nervous because I can tell you’re… quite pretty.

Oh?

Well, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed, let alone had the opportunity to… you know… I’m embarrassed to say.

Make love with a woman?

Yes… Katie. I’m nervous being alone with you. This is a huge thing for me.

Make love with a woman?

Oh, you’re welcome, Ken. In fact, we don’t have to do anything for this session. We can sit here and talk. Be together as new friends. Or if you prefer, I can leave. No harm, no foul.

No! I didn’t mean that, Katie. Please stay. I’m just… afraid, that’s all. I don’t quite know what to do. I’m also nervous because I can tell you’re… quite pretty.

Oh?

Well, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed, let alone had the opportunity to… you know… I’m embarrassed to say.

Make love with a woman?

Yes… Katie. I’m nervous being alone with you. This is a huge thing for me.

Make love with a woman?

Oh, you’re welcome, Ken. In fact, we don’t have to do anything for this session. We can sit here and talk. Be together as new friends. Or if you prefer, I can leave. No harm, no foul.

No! I didn’t mean that, Katie. Please stay. I’m just… afraid, that’s all. I don’t quite know what to do. I’m also nervous because I can tell you’re… quite pretty.

Oh?

Well, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed, let alone had the opportunity to… you know… I’m embarrassed to say.

Make love with a woman?

Yes… Katie. I’m nervous being alone with you. This is a huge thing for me.

Make love with a woman?

Oh, you’re welcome, Ken. In fact, we don’t have to do anything for this session. We can sit here and talk. Be together as new friends. Or if you prefer, I can leave. No harm, no foul.

No! I didn’t mean that, Katie. Please stay. I’m just… afraid, that’s all. I don’t quite know what to do. I’m also nervous because I can tell you’re… quite pretty.

Oh?

Well, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed, let alone had the opportunity to… you know… I’m embarrassed to say.

Make love with a woman?

Yes… Katie. I’m nervous being alone with you. This is a huge thing for me.

Make love with a woman?

Oh, you’re welcome, Ken. In fact, we don’t have to do anything for this session. We can sit here and talk. Be together as new friends. Or if you prefer, I can leave. No harm, no foul.

No! I didn’t mean that, Katie. Please stay. I’m just… afraid, that’s all. I don’t quite know what to do. I’m also nervous because I can tell you’re… quite pretty.

Oh?

Well, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed, let alone had the opportunity to… you know… I’m embarrassed to say.

Make love with a woman?

Yes… Katie. I’m nervous being alone with you. This is a huge thing for me.

Make love with a woman?

Oh, you’re welcome, Ken. In fact, we don’t have to do anything for this session. We can sit here and talk. Be together as new friends. Or if you prefer, I can leave. No harm, no foul.

No! I didn’t mean that, Katie. Please stay. I’m just… afraid, that’s all. I don’t quite know what to do. I’m also nervous because I can tell you’re… quite pretty.

Oh?

Well, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed, let alone had the opportunity to… you know… I’m embarrassed to say.

Make love with a woman?

Yes… Katie. I’m nervous being alone with you. This is a huge thing for me.

Make love with a woman?

Oh, you’re welcome, Ken. In fact, we don’t have to do anything for this session. We can sit here and talk. Be together as new friends. Or if you prefer, I can leave. No harm, no foul.

No! I didn’t mean that, Katie. Please stay. I’m just… afraid, that’s all. I don’t quite know what to do. I’m also nervous because I can tell you’re… quite pretty.

Oh?

Well, I’ve studied your case file and took notes from a recent Zoom call with your therapist, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we want to accomplish during today’s session here in your home. Anything you want to add or ask me about?

Well, Katie, I’m very nervous as you can probably tell. I mean, this is a major step out of my comfort zone.

Katie, I totally get it. This is a somewhat uncommon therapy, yet more frequent than you might imagine. It’s okay and normal to be nervous or apprehensive. And remember that, as your therapist told you, you can put an end to this session at any time.

Yep, that’s what she said. Just say the safe word, right?

You got it, just say the word Covid—I can’t think of a better word to put an end to this, can you?

Ken echoes Katie’s laugh. “Not really. That’s why I chose it. I guess I have two main concerns here.”

That’s fine. Please share them with me.

Well, for one, being blind. And I’m in my late thirties and have never been with a woman before. Hell, I’ve never been kissed

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