Winter's Silent Promise

She’d met him at the door like every other time he’d ventured home. Her welcoming arms, warm smile, and sweet kiss were the same ones he’d come to depend on. Only the soft words she whispered in his ear were different. The times she’d asked something of him were few and far between, and something he had never ignored. And he didn’t plan on doing anything different this time. After all, it was the middle of winter, and there wasn’t much going on at the farm. And if that wasn’t enough, she’d made him steak for supper. He was powerless, and he knew it.

“I thought they could maybe ice skate this time since the pond’s frozen over,” she said during supper. He turned to look at her. “Then… then I talked to Marie,” she continued, “and she talked me out of it.”

“Talked you out of it?”

“Yeah. She says you probably still have a lump on your head from the last time you ice skated.”

He smiled wryly at the memory. It hadn’t been so funny at the time and, frankly, annoying the way his cousin had used the occasion as a ‘prime opportunity’ to practice her nursing skills. It had happened during college, and that had been the first and last time he’d ever been on ice skates. He’d fallen over backward and remained convinced that the first part of his anatomy that struck the ice was the back of his head. It hadn’t quite knocked him out, but the stars came out early that day. Like a dutiful practicing nurse (so she told him later), she’d taken charge immediately and started giving orders to everyone in the area, including complete strangers that had unluckily been in the near vicinity. He’d complained to her later that she’d only made his pain last all the longer, and that’s when he learned that she didn’t ‘do’ complaining. Instinctively he rubbed the back of his head. The lump was gone, and Lisa knew it.

“I—I didn’t want to take any chances,” she giggled.

“Probably for the best. You know I’d try it.”

“I know. That’s why we’ll use the inner tube to sled down the hill instead. That way you’ll all have something soft to land on if—”

Pulling her chair closer and drawing her to him he chuckled, “Why don’t you just come down the hill with me, and then I’ll know for sure I have something soft to land on?”

As his wandering hand found a breast, she giggled and playfully removed it. “Because… I’ll need to be inside making some cookies and hot cocoa for all my boys.”

All her boys indeed. If her plans worked out, she intended on bringing in a small army of them. Or it seemed like an army to him anyway. Fifteen of the little varmints to keep occupied for a couple of hours in the snow or until they got cold, whichever came first. And all at the median age of eight years old. She’d made a promise to her boys in the Sunday School class, and now she had to keep it. They’d dutifully memorized their verses, and now it was time to ‘pay up.’

When it came to children, he was cautious about how he teased her. Not being able to bear children was a source of inner pain to her. It was not her nature to mope about it, as she’d long since accepted the reality. Instead, she spent as much time as she could with children and helping others. But on occasion, it did bubble to the surface, and he had no desire ever to quell the joy she found working with kids, even if she occasionally conscripted him into service. He could only guess as to what went through her heart in doing these things but wondered if she didn’t step back to make her cookies and cocoa to pretend, if only for a few moments, that he was a father and to watch him at what might have been.

“All right, Hon, I’ll do it.”

She smiled warmly at him, planted a soft kiss on his cheek, and sprang from her chair to get dessert. When she returned, they made their plans. He reflected more than once that these fifteen little boys had no idea just how much happiness they brought a certain someone merely by existing. Hopefully, they would be perfect little gentlemen. As so often seemed to happen after a short while of talking to her, his concentration seemed to break, and he found the sight of her warm blue eyes looking at him sweeter than the dessert itself. Nodding dumbly a couple of times so that she would know he was listening (or trying to), he hoped she’d forgive him when he asked her for more details later. She always had before. And she just had to! The way she played with her hair while looking at him was nothing short of mesmerizing. Was it his fault that he lost his ability to concentrate? But this he did know – she was happy, and that’s all that mattered at the moment.

She was still wondering about the details even as he lifted her off her feet to carry her to their bedroom. They might not be able to have a baby, but it had never been from a lack of trying. And tonight he wanted to –

“Hon,” she whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“It’s… it’s that time of the month.” She tried unsuccessfully to suppress her grin upon hearing his groan. He looked down at her with an expression that looked as if he was in pain. She turned away to stifle a giggle. “Oh, Hon, don’t look at me like that! After all, you didn’t listen to a single thing I said at the table so this will give us lots of time to—” Pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her waist, he chuckled, “Why don’t you just come down the hill with me, and then I’ll know for sure I have something soft to land on?”

As his wandering hand found a breast, she giggled and playfully removed it. “Because… I’ll need to be inside making some cookies and hot cocoa for all my boys.”

All her boys indeed. If her plans worked out, she intended on bringing in a small army of them. Or it seemed like an army to him anyway. Fifteen of the little varmints to keep occupied for a couple of hours in the snow or until they got cold, whichever came first. And all at the median age of eight years old. She’d made a promise to her boys in the Sunday School class, and now she had to keep it. They’d dutifully memorized their verses, and now it was time to ‘pay up.’

When it came to children, he was cautious about how he teased her. Not being able to bear children was a source of inner pain to her. It was not her nature to mope about it, as she’d long since accepted the reality. Instead, she spent as much time as she could with children and helping others. But on occasion, it did bubble to the surface, and he had no desire ever to quell the joy she found working with kids, even if she occasionally conscripted him into service. He could only guess as to what went through her heart in doing these things but wondered if she didn’t step back to make her cookies and cocoa to pretend, if only for a few moments, that he was a father and to watch him at what might have been.

“All right, Hon, I’ll do it.”

She smiled warmly at him, planted a soft kiss on his cheek, and sprang from her chair to get dessert. When she returned, they made their plans. He reflected more than once that these fifteen little boys had no idea just how much happiness they brought a certain someone merely by existing. Hopefully, they would be perfect little gentlemen. As so often seemed to happen after a short while of talking to her, his concentration seemed to break, and he found the sight of her warm blue eyes looking at him sweeter than the dessert itself. Nodding dumbly a couple of times so that she would know he was listening (or trying to), he hoped she’d forgive him when he asked her for more details later. She always had before. And she just had to! The way she played with her hair while looking at him was nothing short of mesmerizing. Was it his fault that he lost his ability to concentrate? But this he did know – she was happy, and that’s all that mattered at the moment.

She was still wondering about the details even as he lifted her off her feet to carry her to their bedroom. They might not be able to have a baby, but it had never been from a lack of trying. And tonight he wanted to –

“Hon,” she whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I—I don’t want to go.”

“What? Why not?”

“It’s a long way, and I’m not feeling well.”

He sighed. “You’re always saying that.” He carried her anyway, and placed her gently on the bed. He waited patiently for her to get comfortable, then crawled onto the bed beside her. He took her hand and held it tight. “You know,” he said, “I think I’m going to make you a cup of tea.” He got up and went to the kitchen, returning with a steaming mug of tea. He poured it into a cup and brought it back to her. “Here you go,” he said, handing her the cup. She took a sip, her eyes closing in contentment. “Thank you,” she said softly. He leaned in and kissed her gently on the forehead. “You’re a good woman,” he whispered. She smiled at him, and they shared a comfortable silence for a moment. Then, he gently unbuttoned her blouse, revealing her soft breasts. He leaned down and kissed them deeply, savoring the feeling of her skin against his lips. She responded with a moan, her body arching slightly. He continued to kiss her, his movements becoming more urgent. Suddenly, she let out a gasp and pulled away from him, her eyes wide with surprise. “Don’t!” she exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand. He chuckled and gently removed her hand. “Why not?” he asked, his voice playful. “Because I wanted to take things slowly,” she replied, blushing slightly. He smiled and leaned in for another kiss, this time lingering over her lips before moving on to her neck. He traced the curve of her jawline with his fingers, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath his touch. She shivered slightly, enjoying the sensation. He continued to caress her body, exploring every inch of her skin. As he moved down her body, he noticed a small lump on her chest. He paused, examining it closely. “What’s that?” he asked, his voice filled with concern. She shrugged, not wanting to draw attention to it. He gently squeezed her chest, feeling the firmness of the lump. “It’s just a little hard spot,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant. He didn’t believe her, but he didn’t press the issue. He continued to explore her body, his touch becoming more passionate with each passing moment. Finally, he reached her breasts again, and he began to stroke them slowly, deliberately. She moaned with pleasure, her body trembling beneath his touch. He continued to stroke her breasts, increasing the intensity of his movements. As he reached the peak of his arousal, he felt a sharp pain in his own body. He quickly pulled away, clutching his stomach in agony. “What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned. He groaned in pain, unable to answer. He realized then that he had forgotten to take his medication, and his condition had worsened significantly. His body was shaking uncontrollably, and he felt as though he might faint any second. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the inevitable. But just as he was about to lose consciousness, he felt a gentle hand on his back. He opened his eyes to see her looking at him with concern. “You need to rest,” she whispered, gently guiding him to lie down on the bed. She covered him with a blanket and stayed by his side until he fell asleep. The next morning, he awoke feeling weak and nauseous. He looked at her, his eyes filled with gratitude. “Thank you,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You saved my life.” She smiled at him, her eyes sparkling with love. “You’re welcome,” she replied. “Now, let’s go get some breakfast.”

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